How To Contribute To Kill Pretty

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How To Contribute To Kill Pretty

So you’ve been reading Kill Pretty for years. You spend all your hard earned cash on the print issue and you’re not really sure what the publishing schedule for the online version is but you know you like it, or at the very least you tolerate its existence. But isn’t there something missing from Kill Pretty? Aside from a more regular schedule and, I don’t know, more nudity. It’s you dum-dum! Do you write personal essays that your mom would disown you if she read them? Do you illustrate weird cartoons that would get you interred in Shutter Island? A third thing that’s also weird and fits in the format of a website? Then send it over!

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Squeeze The Trigger From Kill Pretty Issue 6

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Squeeze The Trigger From Kill Pretty Issue 6

Issue 6 of Kill Pretty may be our grimiest yet. Case in point: Squeeze The Trigger by gonzo photographer Richard Perkins and surrealist writer Jacob Shelton. With photos by Perkins and words by Shelton, this booze fueled look at the hidden world of slime beneath normal, every day America will shock and delight. Here’s a taste, but if you want to see the whole thing you’ve got to pick up the magazine.

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How To Be Exciting And Cool

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How To Be Exciting And Cool

If you’re reading this it’s because a small part of you believes that not only are you uncool, but you’re extremely uninteresting. Or maybe just boring. Here are Kill Pretty we do everything we can to make the world a more outrageous/strange/fun/stupid place, which makes us both exciting and cool. We don’t make the rules, that’s just the way it goes. Heck, we’re not even typing this right now, that’s how much we don’t need to read this article. The article is being “written” by speaking into a robot constructed specifically to deal with anything uncool. Let’s just cut to the chase. There’s nothing cooler than brevity.

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Brian Yuzna Talks Horror, Gore, And The 1980s In Issue 6

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Brian Yuzna Talks Horror, Gore, And The 1980s In Issue 6

Issue Six of KILL PRETTY is finally here and it feels so good. This freaked out, fucked up, and all around fabulous issue is teeming with weird articles, sexy babes, and at least two stores about alien abductions. Oh, and we interviewed splatter-horror icon Brian Yuzna. Check out the preview and buy the magazine for the full story.

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Take A Look Inside Issue Six Of Kill Pretty

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Take A Look Inside Issue Six Of Kill Pretty

Issue Six of KILL PRETTY is finally here and it feels so good. This freaked out, fucked up, and all around fabulous issue is teeming with weird articles, sexy babes, and at least two stores about alien abductions. What more could you want? Take a look inside the new issue and wrap your head around our opulent monument to bad taste.

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Issue Six Of Kill Pretty Is Here!

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Issue Six Of Kill Pretty Is Here!

Issue 666 of Kill Pretty is here and it’s going to blow your mind. Featuring interviews and artwork by BAER, ‘80s splatter horror pioneer Brian Yuzna, and Rob Schrab, you won’t want to miss one panel of this freaked out and fabulous issue. Go on a drugged out death drive with Guy Fieri. Fall in love with the grime and slime of Richard Perkins, and go inside Dream Corp LLC - all in this jam packed issue.

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Enlightenment Inc. By Sean Conforti

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Enlightenment Inc. By Sean Conforti

When I was in university I cleaned a yoga studio in exchange for one free class per week- because enlightenment/liberation/metaphysical masturbation tend to be prohibitively expensive.  I did a teacher training program a few years ago, and this is the healthy perspective from which I view the larger community of yoga people

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Skating Curbs

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Skating Curbs

I like skating curbs. I moved to LA from western Massachusetts so I could skate curbs year round. I still suck at slappies. I still suck at skating, as a matter of fact. I don't care. Skating is this thing that allows me to cope with not having that many friends by taking my mind off stuff. Also, when I do happen to skate with other people, I get to pretend I do have friends that share my interests for a while, so that's tight. This particular skate spot I go to a lot accommodates all forms of feeble, boardslide, and otherwise dipped slappy variations, but I still just do frontside slappies and practice nollie flips. By myself. Almost every night. My life is really fucking full. So I'm skating at my favorite well lit curb, alone, as is my style , and this dude pulls up in a slightly battered white honda. He rolls down the window, and I see a dude with frosted tips looking out at me past the battered dashboard and glovebox with a look of mystery.

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Welcome to 50 Shades of Puke (NSFW) By Mr. Rich

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Welcome to 50 Shades of Puke (NSFW) By Mr. Rich

(Spoilers)(wait...who cares?)

If you had the luxury of being in a relationship this Valentine’s Day, you most likely also had the joy of experiencing one of the worst movies ever made. Not by choice. You’ll convince yourself that you made the choice, but you didn’t. You thought to yourself, “Well, if I go and watch this piece of shit with them, I’ll probably get laid. The good kind of laid.” It makes sense. We all do things that we don’t want to do at some point in order to get some, but this takes the cake, by far.

This year, 50 Shades of Grey made 80 Gagillion dollars on opening day. Valentine’s Day. Not because it was a good movie, but because 50% of people got duped into seeing it by their significant others because their boyfriend/girlfriend read the book and it got them undies more moist than watching Chris Hemsworth take off his shirt in Thor. The problem is that there is nothing to the story except for it’s sexuality and it didn’t transfer over to the movie because that would have basically been a porn. So there isn’t anything to the movie. The story originated as Twilight Fan Fiction, “THIS IS THE LEVEL OF WRITING WE ARE DEALING WITH FOLKS!” Unless Darren Aronofsky had done this movie and it was rated NC-17 or X(which no mainstream theater will carry), there was no way in hell this movie was going to be anything like the books.

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