Corner Store Critique: Larry the Cable Guy's "GIT-R-DONE GRUB" Biscuits n' Gravy

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Corner Store Critique: Larry the Cable Guy's "GIT-R-DONE GRUB" Biscuits n' Gravy

Purchasing:
I first stumbled across the meals about 6 months ago at The Dollar Tree, because of course they're sold there. This is a prime marketing example of supply and demand and really knowing your demographic. Everyone at The Dollar Tree at the time of purchase looked like walking bags of flour that have been mainlining bacon grease, and they all walked like they were chafing between the legs. A+ to Larry's team for nailing this one on the head.

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I Have Goals - By Katelyn Lacey

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I Have Goals - By Katelyn Lacey

I have goals. One of those goals is to be the coolest girl anyone has ever met before in their entire life. Think of the coolest person you know. I want that person to look at me and say, “Who is that human over there with the lily white freckled skin? Cheeks of rose, robust of bone, fresh of face, sly of wit? What is she doing over there? Oh, ok, I see what she’s doing now. She’s giving zero fucks, that’s what she’s doing. I wonder if she’s even capable to give a fuck? She’d probably have to work 70 hours a week to give a fuck. It’d be a full time job for that perfect redheaded creature with the fattest ass to give a fuck. And her leather jacket makes me forget that MJ ever wore one.”

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Trick Or Treat

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Trick Or Treat

I’m one of those idiots who never misses an opportunity to incessantly speak about my childhood growing up in the epitome of white picket fence small town mid-west. I also have a definite colorful case of White Girl Syndrome that really tends to rear it’s ugly head in autumn and probably isn’t going away any time soon, so of course I have extremely vivid memories of Halloween.

 

The first Halloween I remember was in 1997. I was in the first grade and I remember sitting next to my nemesis and fellow brownie scout Jessica Lambursky, who happened to be really fucking jazzed on the fact that she was going to dress up as Posh Spice for our class Halloween Party after recess. She was going to wear her older sister’s belly shirt crop top and a metallic skirt and she kept taking it out of her book bag and showing everyone on the bus.

 

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