Word On The Street: Joaquin Phoenix is a Minotaur!!! (PHOTOS!)

Word On The Street: Joaquin Phoenix is a Minotaur!!! (PHOTOS!)

The taco truck guy down the street from my house told me he’s Joaquin Phoenix’s neighbor and he’s been watching him over his fence for the past year. Joaquin has been turning into a Minotaur and has been forced to hire a construction crew to build a labyrinth around himself in order to protect his family from inevitable bowel dismemberment.

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CELEBRITY CGI SCANDAL EXCLUSIVE!

CELEBRITY CGI SCANDAL EXCLUSIVE!

As we all are becoming aware, technology can be used for good and evil. From Darpa to hoverboards, our evolving future always seems to surprise us. Less and less can we tell the truth from the lies, the real from the fake. Kill Pretty has stumbled upon a scandal so big it’s going to rock the sleaze journals of TMZ and Entertainment Tonight. As always we are on the cutting edge of news and today we are about to blow your mind.

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