The Saucer by Steve Torres

The Saucer by Steve Torres

Maybe you come to Kill Pretty for the graffiti. Maybe you crack the spine for the skateboarding and celebrity interviews, but along the way you’re going to read something by one of our writers about being abducted by the Teletubbies and having sex with all of them. That’s just the way it goes. Steve Torres reports to us from Parts Unknown.

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An Excerpt From "The Saucer"

An Excerpt From "The Saucer"

Issue Six of Kill Pretty features a story of sex, aliens, and Teletubbies from the one and only Steve Torres. It’s best if you just read this very horny excerpt and then purchase a couple of copies of the magazine. If you’re a fed or another Teletubby fetishist, please reach out to Steve personally and not the Kill Pretty staff (we rarely check our email).

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An Excerpt From Our Interview With BAER From Issue Six

An Excerpt From Our Interview With BAER From Issue Six

Issue Six of Kill Pretty is full of interviews with some of our favorite artists, but our write-up on BAER is not to be missed. Our lengthy discussion touches on everything alien abductions, to sex, and we might talk about art but mainly we just stick to talking about the first two things (alien abductions and sex). Cheapos can check out some of the interview here, but if you want to read the entire piece you’ve got to buy the magazine.

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Top 5 Conspiracies Ranked by how Hard my Wife Tries to Stop Me From Seeing the Kids

Top 5 Conspiracies Ranked by how Hard my Wife Tries to Stop Me From Seeing the Kids

Youtube videos seemed to be so innocent when I first started watching. Cat videos and DIY tutorials. Anyone could upload a video! Soon I found myself getting wrapped up in the secret truths all the sheeple in the world don’t want to look at. Youtube documentaries freed me from a life with my head in the sand. It also freed me from having a wife and children. But I’m a good father and I won’t let these kids down, even if they might in fact be alien hybrids!

Here are the top five conspiracies that killed my marriage:

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Is this a photograph of a REAL alien?

The man submitting the report, who did not provide a name, says he was walking through the woods in the early afternoon of March 25 when he spotted the oddity standing in the middle of a trail.

“A bright sphere floated in front of him,” he reported to MUFON. ” I took out my mobile phone, and I did a photograph.”

The man says he can’t remember what happened after taking the photograph.

“I only know that the creature disappeared,” he said, wondering whether it was an “alien”.

Image analysts tell Cryptozoology News that the picture was taken with a Samsung Galaxy S5 cellphone on the date originally reported by the eyewitness. It does not, initially, appear to have been doctored with image editing software, such as Photoshop. It is not clear why the man did not record a video of the alleged object.

- See more at: http://disinfo.com/2015/05/budapest-resident-snaps-photograph-of-alien-believes-he-was-abducted/#sthash.EtHOyp3B.dpuf