25 MORE Important Things to Know By Jordan Rich

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25 MORE Important Things to Know By Jordan Rich

26 - Do not aspire to be a pro Frolfer. 

27 -  Watch "Flight of The Navigator".

28 - Toothpaste is poisonous. So stop eating it!

29 - Watch out for the crazy lady that works at the Safeway and always stares at you. We don't what she wants. 

30 - If you run into Kirk Hammett and accidentally call him Mark Hamill while you're hammered at a Primus concert, he will be cool and still give you an autograph on a Tic Tac box.

31 - If you are high and in a stadium concert full of 10's of thousands of people and hear someone shouting your name, ignore it. It's all in your head.

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25 Important Things to Know By Mr Rich

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25 Important Things to Know By Mr Rich

1 - Do not try to bleach your hair with actual bleach. This will hurt your fucking head. 

2 - If you are zappin' a Cup O Noodle in the microwave, don't forget to put water in that shit. It will light on fire and stink up your microwave and make your mom mad.

3 - No matter how much weed you have smoked, your heart will not explode. No it wasn't laced and no you don't need to go to the hospital.

4 - Don't try and drink an entire box of wine in under 8 hours on a dare. You will most likely shit your pants.

5 - An oven does not make a good alternative for a dryer, especially when drunk.  You will burn your pants and have to walk home looking like Fire Marshall Bill.

6 - Huge downhill road + rain + your bicycle + being hungover = injury/ shattered helmet/ broken bicycle.

7 - Be wary of beerbonging 2 40oz Steel Reserves from a rooftop through a garden hose. You could throw up on yourself in your friend's backyard and not care.

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