Word on The Street: KRISTEN WIIG’S PLASTIC SURGERY NIGHTMARE EXCLUSIVE (PHOTOS!!!)

In a world where the corporate news conglomerates shovel bile down your throats for a dollar, we at Kill Pretty bring you the truth straight from the source: THE STREETS.

Have you ever wondered what Kristen Wiig’s nipples look like? Well we have the inside scoop. The gardner at my work also cuts Ms. Wiig’s lawn and has been watching her walk around naked on his lunch break for the past 3 months. He has confirmed multiple surgeries have occurred to reduce her abnormally large nipples. Most people don’t know this, but her nipples were the diameter of a soft ball since birth.

First, it was a series of bleaching and indian dyes to bring her arriola size down, but they were unable to make perfect circles. Then Kristen got so fed up she removed her nipples completely and tattooed fake ones on. She even flew in a world renowned nipple tattoo expert from China to do so. Finally she had her cryogenically frozen nipples reattached, but the surgery was unsuccessful. Kristen’s new/old nipples didn’t properly acclimate to her body and now proceed to grow in size.

What’s a girl to do!?!