Travel Tips For The Thrifty Adventurer

Nothing is more satisfying than hitting the open road and feeling the wind in your hair. However, if you want to travel like a professional you’ve got to know the tricks of the trade. It’s not enough to roll your shirts or wear all your coats at once – you’ve got to move across the country like you were born on the road.

1. Keep your passport encased in a block of ice (bandits famously hate handling anything cold so they’ll steer clear of any personal items that even resemble an iceberg).

2. If you’re traveling by air, remember, pilots have to eat everything on a plane that their passengers leave on the ground, so clean up after yourself.

3. Replace your blood with trail-mix. I have pecans and off-brand M&Ms bouncing around my veins at the moment.

4. Use the barter system when necessary: trade an old hockey stick for a basket of eggs, trade the basket of eggs for a can of gas, trade the can of gas for a ride to Albuquerque, etc.

5. Grow a hump and learn to keep extra water inside.